Forgive without guilt trip laothing!

9 06 2009

I was cruising my subscriptions on youtube today & happened upon misspacman08 vlogging about guilt & forgiveness. She has a seething anger & frustration on feeling guilty & trudging through the never ending guilt path to forgiveness. If this sounds a little off the mark, im sorry Heather.

The question posed by her to the anglobaptist is “Do you think its possible to forgive yourself without going through self loathing guilt?”

As I was listening to her I realised how detached I have made myself from societies guilt trips. You know the ones, that invisible hand pushing your mind to lie to the local priest. Just kidding, I keep my distance from religion. I feel this overwhelming judgement cloud following me over my shoulder when inside a church, making that suffocating feeling take over my mind.
Really its hard to nail down a one sentence description of societies imposed guilt trips. But when one does something wrong how does one forgive oneself without the self loathing guilt trip?

I realised that I have stopped viewing myself through the imagined eyes of those around me. I say imagined, because how could I really know how they view & perceive me? So by doing this I have eliminated imagined judgements of myself. When I say eliminated, its not 100%, I am human. There are a few society guilt trips that still leak through. But by & large they have reduced considerably. I think us humans are all insecure tension balls, give or take a few guilt trips. So really that unbelievably confident, successful person you despise is an insecure tension ball, disguised by a mask & routine well practised.

There are those that like to gossip about others. These people are just sharing their deranged belief that everyone else is worse off than them. Thus making themselves feel better about their insecurities & convincing themselves out loud. Beware its possible to become a sounding board for these people & end up thinking like them, before you know it you‘re infected! The process is repeated over & over until coming back to you to bite you on the bum, leaving societies expectational teeth marks. Some might say you had it coming, but really we are only human.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have guilt trips. Lord knows that’s why we have children! Maybe since the birth of my son I have become more focused. Not overnight mind you. I do believe in letting go of my guilt. After holding onto a tonne of guilt about the everyday little things to do with my son, I realised its not possible to take on that kind of weight. It will crush me! So by eliminating or letting go of, other peoples expectations I shifted my perspective to my own eyes. Thus removing imagined expectations, making it easier to move on & forward, letting go of guilt where possible.

So in short I think it is possible, to skip the self loathing & forgive yourself. Remembering everyone is an insecure tension ball wearing a mask. So you owe it to yourself not to take to heart their expectations or your imagined expectations of you. The weight will crush you.

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2 responses

6 09 2009
Heather-Maria

I have much catching up to do, but you’re now added to the links list on my blog so I wont forget about chu ever again.

Lets vaccinate the world against guilt in any way we can. Hehehe, We Are The Revolution!!

20 09 2009
Blog my death 2 life.

Amen sister!

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