Only Sheeple Boycott BP-webcams 18 script (First draft)

28 09 2010

The idea this could be a great entertaining webcams script only came to me after watching a very long vlog on the same subject by thechurchofdave. I think its a very important subject in so many ways. I personally believe we humans do not generate energy and produce products for consumption with the earth and environment in mind, often enough. If there is an alternative to produce products with resources from the earth, that leaves less of a footprint and is renewable, then we owe it to ourselves and the earth to choose that way. weighing up the pro’s and con’s of each alternative is so important, especially when one of those alternatives involves using a fossil fuel.

This subject certainly has enough different points of view to create characters holding polarizing points of views. And it seemed simple enough to me to have one of those characters offering up himself as “The champion”, of a renewable resource that arguably puts all other alternatives to shame. Seeing as how the whole world needs some pretty hard convincing on the worth of this resource, despite the proven facts, it makes for a pretty heated discussion.

So I started writing a script, with education and entertainment in mind. The main thing was to get across the facts, plain and simple, but entertaining at the same time. I did feel that thechurchofdave should play the role of “The Champion of Industrial Grade Hemp”. After all, the idea did come from watching his vlog. After delays upon delays due to technical difficulties, Dave couldn’t play the part, the back up guy fell short of time to finish the lines and so krumbine filled the role. And boy did he make it his role. By far this role had the longest monologues to date, plus they were full of facts that had to be right-Its all there in history. Full credit to krumbine for making this webcams work, you da man Jordan.
Speaking of making it work, I personally wrote three first drafts, as it were. Each time I wrote another from the first I cut out some facts that I thought we could do without. It was way too long.

Krumbine did his own fact-finding research and added some facts into the dialogue. It’s a fine line, how much vital information do you include in such a script without losing your audience? Personally I think we came up with the right amount, to entertain, educate and open people’s eyes. Or at least put it out there, there is a better way.
Anyway, here is the first draft proposal I sent to krumbine, of what turned out to be the longest webcams running at just over 12 minutes.

Webcams Proposal
Only Sheeple Boycott BP.
Characters A = male or female
B = male
C = male or female
D = male

A
I say boycott BP!
(resolute and said with conviction)

B
And whats that going to do?

A
Its going to stop the oil spills like the one off the gulf of Mexico.

B
And you think the demand for oil will disappear, just because a bunch of people are boycotting BP? Auugh, think again!

A
No it will send a message.

B
And what message is that? That you don’t know what to do and you are concerned?

C
Concerned about what?

B
I’m concerned about people complaining without giving educated solutions.

C
Educated solutions to what?

A
The amount of wildlife affected by this oil spill off the gulf of Mexico has me in a spin.

B
Oh man, the irony of it all!!!

A
What irony?! (a little pissed off)

B
To see the poor animals affected by this oil spill, you have to look through the material its slathered in!

C
What the hell are you saying? You have to look through oil to see the footage of these poor animals? (makes a loopy crazy motion with hand and face)

B
What do you think computer monitors and various other parts of computers are made of? Butter?! Come on get your head out of your ass! (or the sand)

C
Aha I see your point. But really all us little people can do is boycott, we are powerless without numbers, right?

A
Yeah really, we don’t have a say! We need the numbers.

B
Yeah, we need the numbers, a bunch of people proving they know jack shit about whatever they are screaming about! Wow man, remind me never to come to your rally, demonstration or protest in the future. Its your fault!

A
What?! I was nowhere near the gulf of Mexico!

B
You don’t have to be near this tragedy to contribute, you just have to contribute to demand. And when demand is there, it creates a reason for supply.

C
So all of a sudden its her/his fault?!
Note::(do this line twice, both her and he)

B
And your fault!
(directed at C)

C
Hey man, I’m a tree huggin’ hippie at heart. I would never do anything to screw up nature like this oil spill has.

B
Do me a favor, stop complaining! If you want to complain, complain about the lack of alternatives to the oil industry.

A
There is no alternatives to that black gold! Oil is master!

C
Yeah, its king! We have no choice.

B
Oh come on guys, you have a computer, which oil helped to produce. Google it!

A
Ok , I can see you are busting at the seems to tell us, whats on your mind?

C
Yeah smarty pants, deliver the milk!

A
Deliver the milk?

C
So I like milk?!

B
Us humans need NOT, be so reliant on one resource. There are other alternatives which give back to the earth on which we live.

A
Well there’s the electric car.

B
Yes and that was fun while it lasted! Gee’s you guys are lame! Research this for yourself, get informed man!

C
Look we are here now, so make with your golden egg and tell us what you think.

A
Yeah and then we can google that.
(laughs)

B
Ok so, do you guys like the plastic bottles your fancy water comes in?

A & C
Yes

B
Do you guys like the computers you are talking through right now?

A & C
Yes

B
Do you guys like the motor car you drive around in?

A & C
Yes

B
Do you guys like the oxygen you breathe? Do you guys like the forests, we have left on this planet?

A & C
Yes and yes

C
I want milk! Give me the milk!!

A
Again with the milk?!

B
You both aren’t going to like this!

C
Oh come on, spill the milk!

A
Dude, you have a milk stained mind!

B
Industrial grade hemp!

C
Weed?!

A
Oh man, you’re some dope smoking hippie who wants a reason to grow the weed you’re smoking!

B
See now there’s where you are wrong! If I smoked industrial grade hemp I would just get a headache and I would be wasting a valuable resource.

A
But hemp can’t possibly be the answer to crude oil dependency!

B
What it does do is create an alternative to products made from oil and wood.

C
Which means oil is still king.

B
Augh!!! Wrong, it could actually make the dependency on oil obsolete!

C
But it’s still marijuana and that’s illegal.

B
No it’s not marijuana, its industrial grade hemp. Its been associated with marijuana because it’s the same genus of plant, and lets just say a certain percentage of people got a little creative with the facts on this matter, all in the name of the mighty dollar.

A
So you are saying…?

B
Well some say there was an eradication conspiracy back in the 1930’s.

C
Errada what?!

B
Dude, both Henry Ford and Rudolf Diesel, who invented the diesel engine by the way, designed their vehicles to be powered by plant-based fuels.

C
So what happened?

B
A well orchestrated public relations campaign happened, is what happened. Its called business, good business, in this case, at the expense of this planet, if we keep on using the amount of oil the demand is demanding.

A
I’m still not following, I don’t understand.

B
Henry Ford in the 1930’s liked to grow industrial hemp on his property to demonstrate the efficiency of methanol production, to power his cars.

A
Wow, you can make methanol from hemp?

B
Yes, you see its great with a little education you can go places. And another example of the versatility of hemp is …plastic, rayon and cellophane made from hemp are biodegradable.

C
So maybe we actually don’t need to use so much oil in the first place.

B
It’s simply a matter of good business, make your competition look bad, so you can sell more of your product, simple!

A
I’m still sceptical.

B
Don’t worry, being sceptical is healthy, kind of encourages the truth to come out. Just don’t be a sheeple and complain without knowing what you are screaming about.

A
Hey I’m no sheeple, man!

B
Well just keep listening to my solutions, maybe you will change your mind. And by the way, they aren’t mine-they are proven facts! Believe me there is plenty to go along with my complaining, enough to make you think you are eating them for breakfast. BAA BAA!

A
I’m no sheeple!

C
Ha ha, BAA BAA!

A
(disgruntled look)

C
So you said something about wood. Hemp cant replace wood products surely, its not a tree.

B
BAA BAA! You come from the same flock of sheeple I see.

C
No way! The paper industry world-wide, is huge. You must be smoking too much weed if you think it can replace the forest industry.

B
BAA BAA! Hemp fibreboard is stronger than wood, hemp houses are as strong as cement houses and are better insulated.

C
Ok, but the paper?

B
BAA BAA! I’m getting to that. Hemp paper will last up to 1,500 years and hemp cloth is stronger than cotton. Cotton requires more pesticides than any other agricultural product.
Anything made from oil or wood, can be made from hemp.

A
We really havent got long before it’s too late and we run out of oil. Introducing hemp into the industry as an energy source would take too long.

B
BAA BAA! It wouldn’t take long at all. The day I see a gasoline pump next to a hemp gasoline pump, is the day we all begin to have a choice.
Historical tradition favors the use of hemp. The US constitution, the declaration of independence, the Gutenberg bible, and Old Glory (The United States first flag) were all made of hemp.

D
OMG! Not another hippie, pot smoking, side-show freak talking up the use of hemp!

A and C
BAA BAA, get your head out of your own ass, sheeple boy!

B
(laughing out loud, so hard)

D
My own ass? Whats a sheeple?!

A
You! BAA BAA!

C
We consumers need alternatives to make an informed choice!

D
This is about the current oil leak off the gulf of Mexico isn’t it?
The best way is to boycott BP.

C
And you think the demand for oil will disappear just because a bunch of people are boycotting BP? Auuugh, think again!

D
It will send the right message.

A B C
BAA BAA, sheeple boy!!
(All sign off together)

D
(shakes head)
What a strange bunch of people.
(inner dialogue-I think I might google hemp, or maybe sheeple, yeah sheeple!)

End credits.

Click past the break to see the changes and final product below.

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